If anyone ever suggests that our mother and grandmothers weren’t super heroes, you need to punch that person in the mouth. Cooking with gelatin is really, really hard.

Today’s random draw from the 1970’s diet deck was a “gelatin cheese mold.” I have been reading a lot about gelatin this week, in an effort to not make last week’s mistakes resulting in wet dog smell, again. Turns out, if you leave gelatin sitting in the cold liquid it “blooms” and then you only have to lightly heat the liquid in order to dissolve it. It was seriously magical.

But, I still don’t have my liquid to gelatin ratio right, so when I turned my mold over, it didn’t give me a delightfully wiggly, fruity, cheesey, layered delight. I got something that looked like the aftermath of botched liposuction.

Everyone in the family proclaimed that it is delicious, but I am not satisfied with my failure to mold gelatin. I’m a scientist, after all, and I cannot rest until I know the special secret to adding diet soda to fruity gelatin without having it fall apart.

The 70’s diet plan may also be proving a challenge my marriage. The other night, I was trying to see if an odd pot lid would fit a mismatched pot. Strange came up from behind and declared in his all-knowing baritone, “You know, when I have that challenge I usually just put a piece of foil over the top of the pot.” He was nearly stabbed with a wooden spoon.

Tonight when my fluted mold collapsed in a sadness pile he uttered, “Gelatin really takes longet to set than you might think.”

Well, gelatin and Strange be damned!! I’m not going to let the 70’s diet plan get me down!!!! I’ll be back with the recipe when I can figure out the mysteries of gelatin.